Caring for someone with dementia can be a rollercoaster. Everything can seem perfectly peaceful when the person gets up to care for a child that is long since grown, go to a job they used to hold, or uphold some other habit from the past. These idiosyncrasies are difficult for caregivers to handle, and it’s easy to get into a discussion that leads nowhere.

In later stages of Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, trying to explain that children are grown up, that the person’s mom is deceased since many years, or that the person retired a decade ago doesn’t do any good. Most caregivers don’t want to lie to their loved one, and doing so can weigh down the conscience, but sometimes telling the truth does more harm than good. There are times when a little fib might be the best way to solve delicate situations.MTC

If your loved one has forgotten disasters from the past, it might be kinder not to remind them of the truth. If he or she believes loved ones that have passed are alive, that buildings long gone are standing, or that a pet that died decades ago will come into the room at any time, the truth might make them re-live the fresh pain of loss and tragedy.

Avoiding anxiety, confusion or pain

Use a therapeutic fib in situations when telling the truth would lead to anxiety, confusion, or pain. It is also a good tool when the person with dementia thinks they’re in another time.

For example, if you’re caring for your mom and she wants to drive to work, it’s easy to go down the path of explaining how she retired fifteen years ago and isn’t supposed to drive anyway, because the doctor said it isn’t safe, and she gets lost. This will likely cause an angry discussion, because mom doesn’t remember any of these things. It’s so much easier to say that it’s Saturday, or that she’s on vacation.

If your loved one frequently wants to go out driving, you can install a stall switch on the car to prevent it from starting. Explain it with the battery being dead. A less drastic measure can be to hide the car key until the urge of leaving dissipates.

Some people with dementia insist on going “home” even though they are home. Explaining leads nowhere. It’s much easier to say, “We’ll be staying here tonight, and we can go home tomorrow.”

Med Transport Center specializes in long distance medical transportation, and we have extensive experience caring for people with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. If you need to travel long distance with your loved one, don’t hesitate to give us a call. We will help you.